some words for the why's and other observations

just a few things i scraped off of the undercarriage of my cerebellum after lunch today.

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why don't they name the urinal area in the men's room the "no fly zone"?

why do they have a special "waiting" parking spot near a mcdonald's drive-thru? isn't that what we were trying to avoid?

why are so many mexicans so good at landscaping when most of mexico's landscape looks like shit?

why will computer companies hire hackers who compromised their systems and major pharmaceutical companies won't hire drug traffickers to sell their product?

why is it called "interest" when the last thing we're interested in is paying the bank more fucking money?

why is some extra money laying around called "petty cash"? that "petty cash" sure peaks my "interest". just sayin.

why is it called "dressed to the 9's" when you spent all that money to try and impress a "10"?

why is a fat belly called a spare tire? where are these other tires that necessitate the need for a spare one?

why don't birds ever seem to shit while they're walking around on the ground?

why is it called "tea-bagging" when no man i know has ever dipped his nuts in scalding hot water?

why do we stand during the national anthem? i think as americans we should reflect on who we really are during this song. you came to boo the other team, right? why not sit down, sing along, yell for another hot dog and boo at your least favorite country?

why are they called "candy corns" when they're actually "candy cones"?

why do "smart phones" need us to tell them what to do?

why do you think that so many natural resources are drained to make energy drinks?

why aren't "cover bands" ever on any album covers?

why is it called "airport security" when they're checking to see if you're bringing shit on the plane?

why are there child labor laws when i have yet to work with ONE child (excluding child-minded adults of course).

if in relationships, opposites attract, you think happy couples who go rock-climbing repel?

if half the fun is getting there, does that mean that 50% of where you're going is going to suck?

if a donkey is an "ass" and a detective is a "dick" is a law official who specializes in missing donkeys an "ass dick"?

do you think a lower income person gets offended when they see all the bargain shit at wal-mart being sold in "section 8"?

how is it possible to "break up on good terms"? you fucking hate each other. isn't that always a "bad" thing?

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almost time to go. smile. and have a good weekend.