runescape vs world of warcraft

yes, i'm a game nerd. not anywhere near as bad as i used to be, but i still tinker. so, here are the pros and cons of two of the most popular online mmorpg's that i've played around with (for those who don't know what "mmorpg" means - it means you've been playing too long to know what that means).

runescape (jagex corporation)
i'll start with runescape. runescape is a java-based fantasy game which means if you like to point and click on things at 135,000 clicks per minute, it might be for you. there are different skills you can "level" to make "runescape gold" with which you can buy poorly pixelated items and relics that some people have spent real years of their life to acquire (note the word "real" in front of "years" and not "life"). all skills take up so much real time; if you want to play this game well , it's not suggested that you have a girlfriend/boyfriend/life partner (then again if you're an avid fan of this game something tells me you've never had that problem anyway). anyhow, back to skills you've never had in real-life...

....examples - you like crafting bows and leather armor because you failed home-ec in junior high and have something to prove - the crafting skill might be up your dumper. or perhaps mugging in-game characters (not other players - rats!!!) is your cup of kool aid - there's a thieving skill. all skills can be trained to level 99 (99 problems and a "real life" ain't one), and if you achieve this ridiculous feat you can acquire a "skill cape". a skill cape is merely a cape that represents which way (runescape skill) you don't like having any kind of real social interaction. they also look like something that elton john might have worn had he never broke the bar scene.

there's also quests you can do that require you to actually use the keyboard every once in a while to change the screen angle. as if even having a job in a game wouldn't suit your fancy.

you can only choose one race to start with - human, but can customize him/her to your liking. this was one of the most entertaining parts for me in this game. i actually customized my avatar to look almost EXACTLY like gary busey. after growing bored with that look i changed him to resemble al gore. this however was short-lived since most avatars, male and female, look like al gore anyway in this game. so i went back to busey. with dreadlocks. and torn clothes. now he looks like that famous mugshot of nick nolte. so badass.

on the upside, runescape's monthly member's fee is only 6 bucks a month. not bad compared to the highway rape that other games pass off as monthly fees.

runescape gets 2 out of 5 bob dylans - EWWWW, EWWWW / 5.

world of warcraft (blizzard entertainment)
christ. what bad thing HAVEN'T you heard about this game? if you can get past its heroin-like addictiveness, all the veteran players flaunting their flashy gear that they've ruined their real family life over, the chance you might very well become morbidly obese playing it, and the fact that once you reach the maximum level of 80 there's nothing really much else to do - hey! why not give it a shot?

wow (as anyone who's anyone calls it that HASN'T ever eaten at World of Wings before) offers many options for players first starting out.

first off the hopper - race and class selection. ever have a childhood dream of being a midget who can throw fireballs at the oppressive tall people who took your lunch money as a child? wow's got you covered! or maybe you always wanted to take that trans-gender step and BECOME a female minotaur resembling creature - DON'T CASH IN YOUR 401K!! wow can make this dream come true...for a measly 15 bucks a month! this alone has the former game beat on so many levels (besides the price; online rape is in fact, legal to blizzard). the amount of race and class selection combos is better than meat-flavored spaghetti sauce.

ok, so you've created your character that's doomed to be laughed at in the near future. every race starts in their own homeland starting area. except gnomes and trolls. apparently the section 8 housing was worse than an indian reservation in their hometowns and blizzard decided to lump them into shared starting areas so as not to offend low income families who can somehow afford the monthly fee. i give props to the people at blizzard for the artwork and music in this game. it sucks you in harder than a vegas hooker.

as you level your pretend hero, it is wise to skill to make money. can't have war without the craft, you know? you can do things like make shirts or pick at rocks in the middle of nowhere. it's just a game. why not offer skills like "pimping"? or "drug trafficking"? throw the people playing your lousy game a bone, blizzard. at any rate, standing around the major cities in this game asking for money not only gets annoying, it IS annoying watching other players do it. even most bums in real cities will ask you once, then stab you. sadly that isn't an option in this game.

anyway, quest quest quest. skill skill skill. SHAZAAM! you're level 80 in no time at which point you stand around begging (something you vowed never to do from the beginning), asking well "geared" players to carry your weight through dungeons, raids, and wal-marts at 2 am. the game really just stops being fun and starts pissing you off daily at this point, so it might be time to re-activate that xbox live account and play halo or whatever people on xbox live play.

world of warcraft gets 3 doritos out of a bag of 150. <] <] <] / bag

trying to lose a few pounds. sorry.

stay tuned for my next review of "my neighbors: part 3" and "warm beer: the myth continues"!!